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A guide to calories that don’t count

  • An ice cream sundae is placed and ready for eating on a counter. (Dreamstime/TNS)

St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Published: 9/24/2019 10:00:16 PM
Modified: 9/24/2019 10:00:14 PM

Calories that don’t count:

The evened-off corner of an uneven piece of cake or loaf of bread

An after-dinner mint

Anything sugar-free, even if it is loaded with other fattening ingredients

Anything fat-free, even if it is loaded with sugar

Cake crumbs

Bread crumbs

Cookie crumbs

Pie crumbs

Basically, any crumbs

Anything eaten after your regular bedtime

Any treat you share with your dog

Any treat you would share with your dog, if you had one

The entire first meal after you weigh yourself and are surprised to see that you have lost weight

Your children’s leftover food, because you’re helping to fight the problem of food waste

A lone french fry in the bottom of the bag

Anything you eat in a car that isn’t fast food

Anything you drink to replenish yourself after exercising

Also, maybe a post-exercise cookie

Raw vegetables, even when dipped in ranch dressing

Ice cream eaten in your car outside the gym

Any treat purchased at a coffee shop if you stopped in really intending to only have the coffee

Unless the coffee drink ends in “-iato” or “-uccino“

Any food stolen off your spouse’s or significant other’s plate

If you can’t remember how many drinks you’ve had, the drinks that you can’t remember

Food eaten after a breakup

Anything eaten while reading

Popcorn at the movies

Food eaten at grandma’s house

Food on your birthday

Food on your spouse’s birthday

Food on your kids’ birthday

Food on your dog’s birthday (again, if you have a dog)

Vacation food

Anything eaten on deadline

Lollipops at the doctor’s office

Halloween candy stolen from your kids’ bags

Samples at the supermarket

Doughnuts brought into the office, especially if your office is a newsroom

St. Louis Post-Dispatch staff writers Aisha Sultan and Valerie Schremp Hahn contributed to this column.

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