WHITE RIVER JUNCTION — For 27 years, anyone who was the victim of a crime in Windsor County heard from Pamela Weigel, the victim advocate for the Windsor County State’s Attorney’s office.
There were tens of thousands of cases, but Weigel gave each her undivided attention.
“She did it all with such grace,” said Karen Haag, a former probation and parole officer who worked with Weigel. “She had a million things to do in a day, but if a victim showed up, she sat with them like she had all the time in the world.”
Weigel, who died Aug. 6 at 66, gave Haag tips for building trust and rapport with victims of all ages and from all walks of life. Bringing a tiny toy or scrawling a note on the back of her business card would help victims remember her. Putting aside preconceived notions and sympathies would help her hear their stories fully.
“I wish there was a more professional term for this, but she was magic,” Haag said. “There was never a victim or witness that she couldn’t get to connect to her.”
Weigel’s job was to give voice to people who had been affected by crimes. Sometimes that meant learning the details of heinous offenses, like abuse or domestic violence. In other cases, it meant making sure that even the victims of seemingly minor crimes were not overlooked.
“She was an absolutely extraordinary advocate,” said former Windsor County State’s Attorney Robert Sand, who is now the founding director of the Center for Justice Reform at Vermont Law School.
Sand worked with Weigel for two decades, first when she was an administrative assistant in the office and later when she was the victim advocate. He said Weigel was instrumental in helping the prosecutors in the office decide how to move forward in a way that took the victims of a crime into consideration.
“She did an amazing job of not only soliciting input from victims, but slowing prosecutors down so they could gain an appreciation for the impact of crime on the people most directly affected,” Sand said.
He recalled one instance that seemed to him to be an open and shut case. An elderly woman’s mailbox had been smashed in what Sand thought of as a minor crime. However, when he and Weigel spoke with the victim, the woman described how her home had been her sanctuary and the crime had uprooted her sense of safety. That discussion changed the way that Sand thought about seemingly minor offenses, he said.
“Lawyers and prosecutors are trained in thinking about the rules and how you prove a breach of the rules or the laws, how you gain leverage and advantage,” Sand said. “Pam was really good at helping us step back from rule-based approach to think about the people who were affected.”
Weigel was ahead of her time, especially in dealing with domestic violence cases, Sand said. At the time, many prosecutors took a so-called “no drop” stance on domestic violence, meaning that the charges would not be dropped even if the victim chose not to cooperate. Weigel was against that, because she believed victims were the best judges of their own safety, Sand said.
Instead of becoming frustrated when a victim returned to an abuser, Weigel talked about planting seeds of self-protection.
“Very often those seeds would take root and people would find a way to extricate themselves from abusive relationships,” Sand said.
Weigel worked closely with Eric López, former deputy State’s Attorney for Windsor County, who handled the domestic violence docket.
“Pam translated the criminal justice systems and the role of the deputies within the office to victims, and similarly translated victims’ needs, wants, fears and desires to advocate for them within our office,” said López, who is now the senior human relations officer at Middlebury College.
Weigel insisted that prosecutors meet with victims where the victims were most comfortable.
That was oftentimes complicated because Weigel was notoriously bad with directions.
One time, López recalled, Weigel’s directions were to go to “the house across from the red barn,” a marker that is not specific at all in rural Vermont.
Eventually Weigel started calling López into her office to take directions when the duo had an appointment.
As a victim advocate, Weigel was inundated with stories of crime and abuse. The work took a toll on everyone in the office, but López said Weigel was always quick with a smile or joke to keep things upbeat. When that wasn’t possible, she would sit for hours and discuss the difficulties of a particular case.
“What made the work special with Pam was a lightness of spirit as we navigated some really heavy topics,” López said.
Throughout her years of advocacy, Weigel became well-respected throughout the state by advocates and prosecutors alike.
“She was not the type of individual who was in your face, but someone who commanded respect in any room she entered purely by the presence she brought to the conversation,” López said.
Throughout the years, Weigel had an almost immeasurable impact on people in Windsor County and beyond.
“I have known many amazing people, but I have personally never known anyone that had such an impact on a one-on-one basis on literally thousands of people,” Haag said. “To have that deep connection and provide support and help to thousands of people on a one-on-one basis is pretty much unheard of.”
Although Weigel was committed to her work, she didn’t let that take away from the energy she brought to her family. Weigel was married for 48 years to Daniel Weigel, who met her at The Polka Dot diner in Lebanon.
“I asked the waitress to ask her if she wouldn’t mind me sitting with her,” Daniel said. “That started it off. From then on we were together. I was a common person and she was an angel.”
The couple lived in Florida for a time but raised their two sons in White River Junction. Weigel, who graduated from Mascoma Valley Regional High School in 1970, and later from Springfield (Mass.) College, worked for 12 years as customer service manager at Hypertherm before joining the State’s Attorney’s Office in 1988.
“She was the most powerful and impactful person I’ve ever met,” said their son Travis Weigel, who now lives in Lebanon. “You hear about people like her, but you don’t actually meet them. But I was lucky enough to grow up in that environment.”
Weigel was just as selfless at home as she was at work, Travis said. He recalled during high school when two separate friends were in unsafe living situations. His mother took them both in throughout the rest of their school careers.
“Something I could never think about doing, and she did it without hesitation,” Travis Weigel said.
That giving spirit lasted until the end of Weigel’s life. Three days before she died, she heard Travis’ 6-year-old daughter mention that she wanted spaghetti and meatballs. Weigel sent her husband to the store and made meatballs for her granddaughter from bed.
“She made sure everything was taken care of right up to the end,” Travis said.
One of Weigel’s proudest accomplishments was her business, The Collectibles Chest. Weigel started selling vintage memorabilia and antiques on Etsy.
“She loved the business,” said Daniel Weigel. When The Collectibles Chest first opened, Weigel still was working at the State’s Attorney’s Office and would come home after a full day’s work only to spend six or more hours growing her business. After she retired from advocacy four years ago, the business became her full-time occupation and provided enough financial stability that she and Daniel were able to purchase a home on Myrtle Street in Claremont. Weigel was thrilled to be realizing her dream of renovating an old Victorian home.
However, the excitement was short-lived. Just weeks after buying the home, Weigel was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She died nine months later.
Her family will try to decorate the home for the holidays this year in the manner Weigel would have wanted it.
“She bought all vintage Christmas ornaments and showed us where she wanted the tree and how we were supposed to set it up if she wasn’t around,” Travis said.
Most of all, they’ll be remembering the woman who had a huge impact, not just on their family, but on thousands of people throughout New England.
“I hope Pam’s legacy is she loved everybody,” Daniel said. “She would do anything for anybody, and people would do anything for her.”
Kelly Burch can be reached at burchcreative@gmail.com.