05068 - South Royalton, Vt.
Penny Braley, Marie Amell and Tracy Amell are frequent visitors to the Branch View Cemetery on Route 110 in South Royalton, where they light candles at the graves of their relatives. The following is an edited interview with Braley.
Uncle Leslie was in World War II. Uncle Johnny was in Korea. Uncle Donald was a wine drinker, so sometimes we bring him a jug. Gena and William here, they're my parents. Then there's Ernie, there's Louise, there's Leslie's wife, Nina, and our grandparents are over in the corner. They all loved to dance, so we know they're up there dancing together on Saturday nights.
We've kind of taken this over as our family cemetery since we're here so much. Thanksgiving, New Year's, Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthdays, and anniversaries, we light candles for them all. If we lose a family member we come and light them, too, to let them know they've got another one coming home. Christmas time we put out wreaths and little trees with battery-operated lights. Memorial Day we'll bring them balloons and decorations from the Tunbridge parade.
The tradition started with my mother in 1990, and we've continued on from there. When she was getting ill she made me promise to keep it going. She didn't want a funeral when she passed away. She said, "don't cry for me, you have a party." Sometimes I'll bring her a cup of coffee, sit down and talk with her, tell her what's going on in my life.
There's not a day goes by that we don't think of them. We're always saying, "remember when so-and-so did that?" Like, "remember when Grandpa Boles and Uncle Donald took a skunk to Aunt Louise, and Grandma Boles and Aunt Phyllis were mighty upset?" Or, "remember when I went down to the cellar to get Gram a bottle of dandelion wine, and I tried to take that top off and have a swig? Boy, that got snatched away rather quickly." It's a remembrance of love. It's our way to keep them with us, we just loved them so much.
These candles burn for seven days, so after dark the cemetery is lit right up. I've had people say it's awful freaky. Some have said it's sad, others have said it's beautiful. But for us it's comforting. We know in our hearts that they know we're doing it, that we haven't forgotten them by any means.