Dan and Joyce Richardson were married for 35 years before Joyce died in January 2005. Last month, Dan joined a singles club. The following is an edited interview.
The idea was that I was going to die first, but it didn’t work out that way. Things didn’t go according to plan.
My wife passed away four and a half years ago — she had breast cancer — and I’ve been alone since then. I was married for 35 years.
The first two years, I did not even try to date. But after that, I started getting ready to meet somebody. My wife and I had those talks, so I knew she’d be OK with it. You learn to go on.
It had been so long since I had looked for a date, I really didn’t know how to go about it. Joyce and I dated only a few months before we got married, and that was 40 years ago. What do you do these days?
I wouldn’t want to go to a bar. I don’t drink. And if you’re grocery shopping or something and you see an attractive woman, what do you say? At least here, everyone’s on equal footing. You know everyone’s single and you’re not going to send the wrong message.
I eat at the Crossroads (cafe in White River Junction) a lot just because I don’t want to be home by myself. One night, I was up there and there was a group of people at a table. I overheard something about a singles club and asked them about it. That’s how I got involved.
The very first time I went I was at ease, comfortable. Everybody has been very friendly. Most are in similar circumstances; this is their second time around. I know some of them have lost their mate, same as me; others are divorced. I’ve gone to get-togethers down in Windsor, Charlestown and White River. They have a “spontaneous” page in the newsletter, and if you put your name on it, anyone can call you at any time to go out for lunch or go out for a movie or whatever. It’s a lot of fun.
I don’t want to get into details about dates, but I’ve been able to meet people. It’s been worthwhile so far. I don’t know how many couples have met and got married from it, but I know there are some.
I’m thinking that eventually I’ll find someone who has similar interests, and we may hit it off.
If not, at least I’m having fun.