05047 - Hartford, Vt.
Christopher Spaulding, 42, is a Licensed Nursing Assistant and Patient Care Technician II in inpatient psychiatry at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center, as well as a certified M.O.A.B. (Management Of Aggressive Behaviors) self-defense instructor for DHMC employees. On his own time, he offers personal training sessions to help victims of violence and abuse. The following is an edited interview.
When I was a young boy, about 6 or 7 years old, I was held against my will and physically abused. I was out one day, just playing street hockey with my pals, when this woman called me over and took me.
I remember being held in a kind of shack. She screamed at me and beat me with a stick for what seemed like forever. To this day, I don’t know why she chose to hurt me. After I got away, I never told anyone.
The stuff that people do to children will keep you up at night.
It may sound silly now, but after I was kidnapped, I always had a strong emotional affiliation with Batman. Not the one from the silly 1960s TV show, but the original tragic-heroic comic book character, The Dark Knight. I remember thinking I sure could have used Batman to rescue me. And I took Batman’s example to heart. He suffered great personal sadness and loss, but rose above his pain, using it to fuel his resilience.
After surviving the attack, I told myself that no one would ever hurt me or the people I cared for again, ever. With years of study and training, I forged my mind, body and will to become a personal-combat machine. I studied and practiced Judo, Karate-do,Tai Kwan-do, Jeet Kun-Do, Tai Chi Quan, Jujitsu, Aikido, full-contact kick boxing, Western boxing, grappling and Israeli Commando Krav Maga.
But it wasn't enough. Yes, I could take out any would-be attacker, but I did not have peace of mind. Before I was finally able to move forward, I found I needed to forgive this woman. Once the anger receded, it opened up room in my heart to help others.
Now, I want to give to all who need it the gift of Fudoshin — a calm, couragous, confident heart and a composed, unshakable mind — through their own hard work and dedication. I want to help those who have been hurt to heal themselves.
My services are donated. It doesn’t matter income-wise; great things can start small. If I train a person for two hours, rather than pay me, they perform two hours of community service of their choice. People pay it forward, if you will. Maybe they mow the lawn for their elderly neighbor or do the dishes for their mom or volunteer to visit folks at the hospital, or whatever positive gesture they choose. It’s on the honor system.
Many men who are subject to abuse or trauma as children use it as an excuse to later hurt others. I reject this reasoning. They should use it as a catalyst to see that it never happens again, to anyone. It's an opportunity to fight the perpetuation of evil, and instead promote goodness, understanding, kindness and strength.