Life is pretty much a day-to-day proposition, and sometimes it’s hard to distinguish one from another. So along comes a mysterious process in which a particular 24 hours are declared the likable National Strawberry Shortcake Day or the underrated World Septic System Awareness Day.

We don’t really know who decides these things. Is it the U.N., the home office of Hallmark Cards, some obscure U.S. Cabinet undersecretary or hackers from China and Russia trying to distract us?

I’ve been thinking about this lately because I didn’t quite know how to respond to National Daughters Day and the following National Sons Day. First of all, they snuck up on me unawares. When I was a kid, I only had my birthday, which came with a cake, store-brand ice cream with a bit of freezer burn, a modest present that didn’t fulfill all my hopes and dreams and a very poor rendition of the birthday song from whatever Mackies happened to be about. We were all relieved when the singing was finished. We harmonized like crows.

Nowadays, everything about children is a bigger deal. I hope everyone feels special, although sometimes I wish this standard had been around in the ’50s and ’60s, when families were bigger. Busy parents couldn’t treat every child like a little celebrity or a visiting head of state. It was more like: We love you, now go find something to do.

So National Daughters Day is declared, and my first thought is, “Sez who?” My own particular daughter is grown up and — in my eyes — terrific, and I stand ready to indulge her at a moment’s notice. But do I need to declare this annually to the world? On Facebook with many, many photos sensitively selected from her life and times? My Facebook feed suggests it is so.

We — her mother and I — sat this one out and were gently scolded by The World’s Best Daughter. (See, I said it!)

Fortunately, my son rarely posts things and is indifferent, even scornful, of National Sons Day. We got a free pass. He’s a great guy. There are 364 other days to get that point across.

But what about all these other National Days? If I ruled the world, I’d give them a different focus, not all sweetness and light, necessarily. This year we could have a National Banned Foliage Day, to recognize Vermont for defending the homeland by blocking tourists from overrunning quaint farm lanes. I believe the state police are going to form a Special Foliage Unit for extra muscle, if they can get federal funding.

With Halloween right around the haunted corner, we should squeeze in a Scorned Halloween Candy Appreciation Day. Every year we hurt the feelings of the nation’s candy corn manufacturers, who wish they could proclaim themselves “Proud Candy Corn Suppliers to the World.” Instead, they produce their product in secretive factories that ship unmarked bags in the middle of the night. It’s a shame, really, even though I don’t want any candy corn, or circus peanuts for that matter.

Of late, National Taylor Swift Romantic Partners Day would have helped us keep things in perspective, since her association with a football star had us all atwitter. Well, not all of us, me included. I am too depressed by the New England Patriots’ utter collapse to get joy from anything related to football. And as for Taylor Swift, she seems very glittery, but other than that I know little about her, and she knows nothing about me, so we are even.

I would observe a What’s Up with Matt Gaetz Day? but I know that much of the populace would not join in, for various reasons. The government-disrupting U.S. representative from Florida (yes, another Florida Man!) resembles a Batman villain to me. I could see him as a televangelist on air at 4 in the morning pleading for money in return for Holy Bibles once held by the Apostles themselves (not sure how that history works out). But maybe that’s just me.

I would enjoy a National Average Person Day, because people (like me) need to be recognized even though we’ll probably never get an essay in the New Yorker because we don’t know anything about the arts scene in the Big Apple and instead spend our time worrying about when and if Jersey Mike’s is going to open here. We are not part of the smart set, but there are those who love us.

Finally, I would also support a National Today Day. You don’t have to be a Buddhist to know that it is the only day we have, and it wouldn’t hurt to be reminded to make the most of it.

Dan Mackie lives in West Lebanon. He can be reached at dan.mackie@yahoo.com.