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Caroms, Quirks, Odd Bounces During 2012

  • In this March 13, 2012 photo, Elmer Gale poses at his sumo school in Toronto wearing a mawashi, a traditional sumo garment worn during fights. Gale, along with U.S. sumo wrestler Emanuel "Tiny" Yarbrough, were cast in a Canadian opera production of "Semele." (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Pawel Dwulit)

    In this March 13, 2012 photo, Elmer Gale poses at his sumo school in Toronto wearing a mawashi, a traditional sumo garment worn during fights. Gale, along with U.S. sumo wrestler Emanuel "Tiny" Yarbrough, were cast in a Canadian opera production of "Semele." (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Pawel Dwulit)

  • FILE - In this May 6, 2012 file photo, Baltimore Orioles' Chris Davis delivers a pitch against Boston Red Sox during the 16th inning of a baseball game at Fenway Park in Boston. Davis went 0 for 8 and struck out five times as a designated hitter in their 17-inning victory over Boston. But with the bullpen depleted, he wound up being called to the mound, the first time he pitched in the pros. He threw two scoreless innings and got the win. (AP Photo/Steven Senne, File)

    FILE - In this May 6, 2012 file photo, Baltimore Orioles' Chris Davis delivers a pitch against Boston Red Sox during the 16th inning of a baseball game at Fenway Park in Boston. Davis went 0 for 8 and struck out five times as a designated hitter in their 17-inning victory over Boston. But with the bullpen depleted, he wound up being called to the mound, the first time he pitched in the pros. He threw two scoreless innings and got the win. (AP Photo/Steven Senne, File)

  • In this March 13, 2012 photo, Elmer Gale poses at his sumo school in Toronto wearing a mawashi, a traditional sumo garment worn during fights. Gale, along with U.S. sumo wrestler Emanuel "Tiny" Yarbrough, were cast in a Canadian opera production of "Semele." (AP Photo/The Canadian Press, Pawel Dwulit)
  • FILE - In this May 6, 2012 file photo, Baltimore Orioles' Chris Davis delivers a pitch against Boston Red Sox during the 16th inning of a baseball game at Fenway Park in Boston. Davis went 0 for 8 and struck out five times as a designated hitter in their 17-inning victory over Boston. But with the bullpen depleted, he wound up being called to the mound, the first time he pitched in the pros. He threw two scoreless innings and got the win. (AP Photo/Steven Senne, File)

Maybe if they were 22 years old — throwing down drinks in a bar and their faces painted in school colors — this would make sense.

But they were far from 22 and their complexions had long lost the glow of youth. And, most assuredly, they were not in a bar.

They were two basketball fans, both past the age of Medicare eligibility, and they took their game seriously. They also happened to be patients in a dialysis clinic in Georgetown, Ky.

According to authorities, the confrontation came five days before Kentucky played Louisville in the NCAA semifinals. Wildcats vs. Cardinals can make for dicey conversation and the men began exchanging words.

Dialysis assists kidney function, keeping the body chemically balanced by removing salt, waste and excess water. In this case, however, not much was done to contain the buildup of bile.

The 68-year-old Kentucky fan receiving treatment extended a finger to the Louisville fan, and it was not to signify that the Wildcats were No. 1. The 71-year-old Louisville fan responded by punching him in the face.

Police were summoned to the clinic. The Kentucky fan chose to not press charges.

His pain and blood pressure perhaps eased by the weekend: Kentucky beat Louisville 69-61 and went on to win the national title.

Dialysis units were not the only odd spots where sports traveled in 2012: Two sumo wrestlers — one 6-foot-8 and 625 pounds — were cast in a Canadian opera production of Semele ; Cowboys Stadium outside Dallas became home to a Victoria’s Secret outlet; Lance Armstrong was stripped not only his seven Tour de France titles, but of his 2006 honorary degree from Tufts University; and one-time NFL star Chad Ochocinco and House Speaker John Boehner wound up Twitter buddies.

Great heft was not limited to opera. At the London Olympics, judo fighter Ricardo Blas entered the 220-pound-and-over division at 480 pounds, nearly double that of most competitors. It was noted that Blas — the heaviest man at these Olympics — weighed more than the entire Japanese women’s gymnastics team.

The London Games also brought an outpouring of joy from the mother of Thailand’s Pimsiri Sirikaew, a weightlifting silver medalist. A bacchanalian romp, however, was not in Amornat Sirikaew’s plans. She told Thai media she would mark her daughter’s triumph by joining a monastery.

Looking to get in on the Olympic fun was a New Zealand farm group that wants sheep shearing as an Olympic sport. It was not immediately clear if winners would forgo gold medals for cashmere sweaters.

Other countries, with seemingly more urgent needs, went in strange directions. Haiti, the Palestinian territories, Togo and Eritrea joined the International Ski Federation, a step that did not exactly strike fear into the Swiss and Austrians. Turkmenistan, where scorching heat can reach 120 degrees, was ordered by presidential decree to create an ice hockey league.

Politics and sports invariably find themselves as tag-team partners, and this year was no different.

Ochocinco, getting ready for the Super Bowl with the New England Patriots, was watching the state of the union address on TV. He was puzzled by the frowning man seated behind the president. When told it was the speaker of the House, Ochocinco (who has since reverted to his original name of Chad Johnson) consoled Boehner on Twitter: “If all else seems bad in life, just remember I love you kind sir.”

Kindness was surely not on the mind of Donald Trump when he took on all of Scotland. The real estate magnate turned presidential candidate was incensed that a “horrendous” wind farm is to be built off the Scottish coast by his luxury golf resort. In a seething letter, in which he invoked his Scottish-reared mother, Trump wrote to First Minister Alex Salmond: “With the reckless installation of these monsters, you will single-handedly have done more damage to Scotland than any event in Scottish history.”

After Germany’s loss in the semifinals of soccer’s European Championship, one of its lawmakers rebuked the players for not singing the national anthem with proper gusto, a performance he deemed “shameful.”

Like politics, religion crossed paths with sports in 2012.

Manchester City, preparing for its Premier League title defense, headed to a village in the Austrian countryside for rest and training. But one thing Man City did not count on — bells from a medieval church that rattled the players from sleep at 7 a.m. Egon Pfeifer, the priest at St. Oswald Church, held his almighty ground. He said the bells would keep ringing “even if the queen of England wants them to stop.”

A divinely named baseball team in Minnesota shed its ecclesiastical ties for one night. Two atheist groups were in town for a conference and sponsoring a minor league game. So the St. Paul Saints rebranded themselves for one night as “Mr. Paul Aints.”

This was also a year of odds-defying moments.

Caleb Lloyd was sitting in the left field seats at a Cincinnati Reds game one spring night when he caught a home run ball hit by Reds pitcher Mike Leake. The next batter, Zack Cozart, also homered to left. And there, as if out of the mist of Field of Dreams, was Lloyd yet again — ready to stab it, with one hand.

“I was like, ‘Oh, my gosh, that’s just crazy,’ ” he said.

As was the case Down Under: two amateur golfers in Sydney making consecutive holes-in-one. The odds of two golfers from the same foursome acing the same hole? The National Hole in One Registry website says it’s 17 million to 1.

Chris Davis of the Baltimore Orioles also made a stop in the Twilight Zone. He went 0 for 8 and struck out five times as a designated hitter in a 17-inning victory over Boston. But with the bullpen depleted, he wound up being called to the mound, the first time he pitched in the pros. He threw two scoreless innings and got the win.

“I was like, ‘Sweet!’ I get to try something different today,” he said. “Because hitting ain’t working.”

Lots of things weren’t working for one team at a girls’ high school basketball game in Indiana — Arlington lost to Bloomington South 107-2. Bloomington South coach Larry Winters said he wasn’t trying to humiliate an opponent. He told the Indianapolis Star he didn’t want his players to stop shooting because that “would have been more embarrassing.”

But for real embarrassment — some might say perseverance beyond all dignity and reason — check in with Russ Berkman. He’s from the Seattle area and he won a lottery for passes to a practice round the day before the Masters. His dog had other ideas. Sierra took to the four tickets like a shank of veal and ate them.

What to do? Berkman told KJR radio his girlfriend insisted there was but one course of action. So he got Sierra to cough it all up, and Berkman then began the unsavory task of piecing together 20 shreds of tickets coated with dog vomit.

He reassembled almost three-quarters of them, photographed his handiwork and explained what happened to Augusta National. The club reprinted his tickets, and the Masters was on.

A happy ending for Berkman, although Sierra may have seen it differently.