Recently there has been an increase of ableist bullying of people who stutter after a former president mocked President Joe Biden’s stuttering in the State of the Union address. This bullying is a result of our ableist culture. Here are some ways to be an ally:

1. Increase our own awareness of how our culture is ableist. Ableism is an assumption that people are better off as able-bodied and any deviation from this idea is a loss. This is at the core of most of us and we need constant reminders to shift from this perception. There is a long line of powerful and famous people who stutter, from actors like James Earl Jones, Nicole Kidman and Jimmy Stewart, to singers, songwriters and rappers like Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, Ed Sheeran and Kendrick Lamar. There are famous athletes, such as Tiger Woods or Johnny Damon, and world leaders like Winston Churchill and Joe Biden. Even the famous naturalist Charles Darwin stuttered. Recognizing the strong representation of stutterers in your discipline can help fight ableism.

2. Monitor your own language. Stuttering is not something to be “overcome.” A person “lives with stuttering” and can work on “stuttering well.” This is a focus on the speaker’s experience rather than the listener’s observation. For instance, the goal may be to increase joy and spontaneity rather than fluency. An ableist mindset may be to help an individual to “pass” as a fluent speaker, however a better goal would be to focus on self-advocacy. It is about improving how speech feels to the speaker rather than on how it sounds to the listener.

3. When someone stutters, listen like you would for anyone. Generally, don’t finish sentences for them unless they tell you they prefer that. Be patient and listen to what they say, not how they say it. Some people think they are helping by trying to calm a person down, reminding them to slow down, take a break or relax. That is not helpful. Instead, don’t interrupt and show that you are listening with your body language, such as maintaining eye contact. And please, don’t tell someone how they can stop stuttering.

4. Expand our own knowledge by listening to people with stutters, such as advocates like Maya Chupkov, host of the stuttering advocacy podcast, Proud Stutter, or journalists like John Hendrickson, author of “Life on Delay.” There are researchers like Chris Constantino, who studies ways to reduce stuttering stigma and Josh Compton, a Professor of Speech at Dartmouth and covert stutterer.

If someone you love is currently suffering because of the effects of the recent ableist bullying found throughout the news and social media, it is important to recognize the effects. Are there changes in behavior, such as changes in eating or sleeping habits, or a decreased interest in activities? Are there emotional shifts or an avoidance of social interactions? If so, the individual may be affected by bullying about their stutter. Please know that there are organizations focused on stuttering to reach out to, such as the National Stuttering Association (westutter.org/) and The Stuttering Foundation (www.stutteringhelp.org/) and STAMMA (stamma.org).

If someone you know is affected by bullying, make sure they understand that they have a support network. Let them know they can talk to you or another trusted person about any bullying or discomfort. As Martha Horrocks, speech pathologist, reminds us, we can initiate a conversation in which you ask questions about whether they have seen someone being teased or bullied. If they do open up to you, listen with empathy and validate their feelings. It is important to ask questions more than for you to make any statements. Listen calmly. Offer comfort. Tell them their feelings are valid, Commend them for speaking up. One action you can take is to do activities with them that they excel at. When being bullied, it can harm self-confidence. The goal is to increase self-esteem. Keep the conversation open, asking about positives as well as challenges. And remember, no one-size-fits-all all solutions. It is important to work together to find solutions and approaches.

Dr. Kendra LaRoche is the executive director of the Special Needs Support Center.